[x]

FERARDGerard:

i walked outside a cafe, cassually looking through the window. where could he be?? i hadnt seen frank since yesterday. he said he'd be here!

Frank:
Oh man...i'm not sure about this. Oh whatever. I knew i was late. I knew he'd be wondering where i was...I turned the corner to see him looking rather flustered. I loved when he got like that. I smiled weakly when he noticed me.I could feel my cheeks blushing red.

Gerard:
"uh,hey" i said why was i always at a loss of words when he was around?? " your late" i said smiling at him. " i know...." he said back...i could see him starting to blush..it was kinda cute

Frank:
"Uh..." He kne

Funk :handjive: ...and EVIL Frank was seated in his bunk bed on the bands bus, his laptop perched on his crossed legs. He was browsing around this art site, staring at some of the pictures these fans drew of him and Gerard. A fan had emailed him the link. After all, he had nothing better to do. In fact, he didn't even know where his other band mates were. They could be at Mt. Rushmore for all he knew.

Soon, though, one of his band members revealed himself in a form of a cursed yell.

"Dammit!" It was Gerard, his voice erupting from somewhere in the bus. It was followed by Mikey's victorious crys and the sound of a game controller being thrown to the ground.

"Jealo

Coffee ::Frerard::
For Kaii-chan

He doesn’t have any ideas today. It’s just a day where instead of the inside of his head being a limitless, immaculate blue that extends towards infinite space, it’s just grey. The kind of grey that must come because without it, that beautiful, endless sky would mean hardly anything at all. And it’s not that it hurts, but just that it is dull and his ideas are behind that grey- the grey that seems so thin that it is as if a membrane of dullness was stretched over where his ideas used to be. And, he wasn’t going to admit this to anyone but himself, he really didn’t like the way he looked on that d

Tales of Endurance - Chapter 3Chapter Three.

Time dragged, or so Gerard thought. His face pressed heavily against his pillow, watching the second hand slowly tick around his alarm clock from a sideways angle. He was beginning to tire of going through the same routine every morning; he hated waking up more than anything. He often wondered how it was possible to feel worse after sleep, but he was living proof that it was. It had been daylight when he finally fell asleep and it was now lunchtime again already, or so the clock told him. His mother hadn’t been down to see him yet and he felt slightly neglected, but he didn’t blame her for not wanting to see him, he

Sexytime Gerard sighed as he stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray that sat beside the couch. He was waiting in the backstage room, impatiently. It was about an hour after the show was finished, and yet they still have to wait until all the equipment is packed up and the fans all leave before they can go anywhere. All Gerard wanted to do was to get back to the hotel and sleep. Was that so much to ask?

Bob and Ray sat on the other couch adjacent to the one Gerard sat on, both watching some movie on a portable DVD player. They both kept cracking up every few seconds, but Gerard tuned it out. His mind was already occupied with random thoughts, su

Sick Day“Would...soup make you feel better?”

“No.”

“Candy?”

“No.”

“Ice cream?”

“No.”

“Porn?”

“No.”

“…sex?”

Frank sniffed, looking up at Gerard from his position on the couch. He was hunched up under a blanket, arms wrapped around his legs and chin resting on his knees. He didn’t even smile while answering. “No.”

“Damn.” Gerard cursed. Taking care of Frankie while he has a cold was much more work than he’d thought. He had called Mikey, begging him to come over and help him out, but Mikey insisted that he was

A Dead Flame Part 2                                            *Franks P.O.V*

I woke up late the next day, 12:00. Very late.  I had to take a shower and get rea

How To Get Rid Of BoredomSlap. Bang.
“Ouch!”
Slap. Bang.
“You’re pushing your luck!”
Slap. Bang.
“Oh My God, did you have to do it that hard?”
Slap. Bang.
“God, you suck at this. And yes, I did have to do it that hard!”
Slap. Bang.
“Owwwww! Stop it!”
Slap. Bang.
“Nope. Not til you admit it. Who’s the daddy?”
“Not you!”
SLAP. BANG.
“Holy fuck! You’re the daddy!”
“I didn’t quite hear that, who’s the daddy?”
Slap. Bang.
“You are, Gerard!”
Slap. Bang.
“Hey! You said you'd stop it if I did what you told me to!”
“S

Nap Time-Ferard

"Okay children, Nap time for everyone!" The teacher announced, and all the Kindergarten students fell asleep. All but two. When the kids slept, the teacher went for coffee.
One boy, named Gerard, got up obviously not tired and walked over to where a boy named Frankie lay, he's been curious about the boy, so quiet and so shy.
"Are you awake?" Gerard asked poking Frankie.
"Yeah I am..stop poking me!" Frankie whispered back popping up.
"I'm Gerard" Gerard smiled. "I know you're Frankie, wanna get cookies? I know where the teacher hides them!"
"Okay" Frank smiled with glee.
Gerard started walking out and notice Frank stood glued to his spot

Nothing Drastic, Now."Look, Gerard, I. I don't think we should see eachother anymore."

He tightens the bloodred tie around his neck, looking at himself in the mirror hanging on his wall. It clashes beautifully with his black suit. It clashes beautifully with his pale skin. It just clashes beautifully.

"I'm seeing someone else."

Running a hand through his black hair, he coughs, a low sound in the back of his throat. He lifts his other hand and repeats the process, ruffling his hair so it stands up in all the right spots. He wants to look good for this occasion.

"We met at the bar, and. Just hit it off, I guess."

He walks over to his bed, casting uninterested

Seventeen ::Frerard::
He’s been seventeen for about ten years longer than he should have been. He’s not quite sure why, but he likes to think, to speculate, that maybe it’s because those are the days he likes to preserve, to keep locked in an air-tight jar and stored somewhere where he can always see them but never lose them. Because those were days of sun, of simplicity, when things hurt for the sake of hurting and not because there was any real stimulus for pain. Because back then, back in those sweet, blue-skied days, the two of them made love in the storage closet where he worked and they ground against each other in a blurred, swirling mixtur

Tales of Endurance - Chapter 2Chapter Two.

Gerard lay cocooned in his bed covers for most of the following morning, his good state of mind had deteriorated during his sleep and he was no longer feeling as calm as when Frank had been there. His mother had been down to see him three times already, trying to tempt him out with some breakfast but he declined all offers and simply buried himself further and further beneath the duvet. What did he have to get up for? Nothing, he thought. Frank had told him he would come back to visit, but it was a Tuesday today, and Gerard was pretty sure the kid wasn’t going to traipse around to his house after school just to see him. Kid

Tales of Endurance - Chapter 9Chapter Nine.

Feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, Frank carefully placed the key back on top of the desk and threw his bag to the dusty floor. He sat himself on the edge of the wooden surface, allowing his legs to gently dangle over the side as he watched his friend’s diminishing frame remain by the door. Gerard looked back at him uneasily. Unsure of what to do with himself, he pulled down his hood, revealing an expanse of increasingly scruffy dark hair. He tried to flatten it with his palms, feeling self-conscious and unworthy of a friend like Frank. He knew that the younger boy was probably waiting for him to explain, bu

Tales Of Endurance - Chapter 6Chapter Six.

Frank enjoyed the company, or rather the specific company that the basement in the Way household gave him. It was almost like having a second home, he thought. Despite the reasons for him being there that afternoon, he was glad that he was; glad that he was allowed some alone time with the one person in the world who appreciated him for who he was.

Gerard tugged at his hand, signalling that he wanted him to lay down beside him for a while. The younger boy smiled and crawled down the bed with him, discarding his already worn schoolbook onto the carpet. Frank rested his head back onto the pillow and shivered at the coolness again

Spin the Bottle ::MCRFanfic::Please, before you read, read the following warning.
This fanfiction is slash. It involves the following people; Brian, Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Bob, Ray, and a made-up character for the occasion, Sam. The couples mentioned are; Brian and Sam, Gerard and Mikey, Ray and Frank, Ray and Bob, Brian and Mikey, Gerard and Ray, and Frank and Gerard.
PLEASE take note of this before you read. Thank you.

Of course it had been a joke.

Really.

But everyone on the bus had been bored—everyone being Gerard, Frank, Ray, Bob, Mikey, Brian, and the driver of the bus who was consequentially a girl. They had parked outside of a gas station to give her&

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Bob's Happy Day PtI GerardcamA/N: Before you read this, just be aware that is basically transcript-style.

Bob's Happy Day

Part One I- Gerard Cam

Camera turns on
Gerard's face is seen, his arms holding the camera in front of him

Gerard: Okay. Um, hi… This is Gerard. It is 12 AM and Bob is sleeping. So uh, let's just barge in on him, shall we?

Gerard's feet are visible as he walks to Bob's room and kicks the door open quietly.

Gerard: OH MY GOD!!!! (whisper-shouting) I gotta get Mikey.

Gerard's feet are visible again as he walks to Mikey's room.

As Gerard kneels by Mikey's bed, his arm is seen violently prodding his younger brother.

Gerard: Mikey. MIKEY!!!!

Promise Me My Lucky GravePromise Me My Lucky Grave

Would you give me this promise?
Someday I will fall
Would you be my voice
When I'm locked in my pall?
Put your hand on your chest
Let my legacy rest
Would you give me this promise?
Live my behest

Now that I'm gone
Don't let me die
I won't ever rest
Till my final tears dry
Don't bury me in vain
Keep me out of dry grass
Promise me my lucky grave
Let my final wish pass

Would you give me this promise?
Take my cold hand one last time
And tell me you loved me
Forever--- Until the final chime
Put your hand on your chest
Let my legacy rest
Would you give me this promise?
Heed my request

Now that I'

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Frerard-The Soap Opera

by ~cryinblackandwhite93, Aug 18, 2007, 7:15:04 AM
Fan Art / Fan Fiction

FRERARD: THE SOAP OPERA!!!!

It was a dark and stormy night on the My Chemical Romance tour bus.  Actually, it was a dark and story night OUTISDE of the My Chemical Romance tour bus.  Thankfully, there were no leaks or weather-making devices in the bus itself, so Bob, Ray, Mikey, Frank, and Gerard were quite dry, but the fact remained that outside of their cramped quarters, it was raining cats and dogs (but not men, to the disappointment of thousands of straight/bi girls and gay/bi guys) and the thunder was loud enough to put chainsaws to shame.  By the time the sun set, or would have set if it had not already been invisible behind the dark clouds, thousands of chain saws everywhere had surrendered to their inferiority complexes and committed suicide after particularly loud blasts of thunder.  But of course, MCR was too occupied with their own lives to notice.  Or were they…?

A scream pierced the night…or did it?

Frank: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gerard: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! HE’S BLEEDING!!!!!

Frank: MY LEG!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh wait… I’M NOT BLEEDING!

Gerard: Oh sorry… it’s a shame you’re not injured…

Oh God…Here comes another bad pickup line!  Or is it…?

Frank: Gee, I wonder why?

Gerard: So I could do this!  (Starts making out violently with Frank.)

(Frank returns Gerard’s kisses and within about five minutes, they’re on Gerard’s bunk and Frank doesn’t know it now as he lies there so perfectly content in Gerard’s arms, but he is pregnant.)

Ray: (Walks in with Bob and Mikey) Oh my god my best friends are f*cking this is such a shock I had no idea but I guess I’m okay with it I’ll accept them for who they are.  (Walks out.)

Bob: Me too.  (Walks out)

Mikey: No no way I refuse to accept this my brother and my best friend cannot be together because I will feel lonely and-slash-or am in love with Frank myself!

Gerard: Gasp!

Frank: Gasp!

Mikey: It is on, b*tch!

Gerard and Mikey begin to fight.  Or do they…?

Mikey: Okay I guess I accept this after all I love you guys (walks out of the room)

But soon after this encounter, Mikey, Ray, and Bob mysteriously disappeared from the bus.  Rather than looking for their missing friends, Gerard and Frank continued to make out and ‘tag the bases’ all the time.  Or at least until Frank noticed that he’d missed a period.  Gerard and Frank went to the doctor’s office and found out that Frank was expecting.  Or was he…?

Doctor: It might be a girl...but then again it might be a guy…

Frank and Gerard: WOOO!!!  Let’s name him/her Helena or Heleno and buy a house with a white picket fence and get married!

Frank and Gerard got married, and Mikey and Ray and Bob somehow reappeared in time for the reception.  Mikey was the best man, but right in the middle of his speech, Frank gave birth…or did he…?

Gerard: I love you honey.  Holy sheep that baby looks nothing like me…in fact it looks a lot like Mikey.

Frank: Oh yeah I kind of got with your brother once…but it didn’t mean anything!

Gerard: I HATE YOU!  (Cries) Okay I guess it’s okay since I kind of cheated on you too…

Frank: I HATE YOU TOO!  With who?

Gerard: My brother…

Everyone: GASP!

Mikey: HELL NO YOU DIDN’T!

Gerard: Oops, did I say my brother?  I meant Bert McCracken, and Ray, and Bob, and Jade Pudget, and Davey Havock, and Jared Leto, oh, and George Clooney…

Frank: I STILL HATE YOU!!!

Gerard: WELL YOU STILL CHEATED ON ME!!!

Frank:  YOU TOO!  MEANIE!

Gerard and Frank split up, not seeing each other for a whole two weeks…

Mikey: Dammit!  I f*cked up.  I f*cked my brother’s boyfriend, who I still love, and got him pregnant and now I have to take care of this baby, too…

Frank and Mikey’s baby: Goo.

Mikey: Great…

Mikey was so tragically affected by his ordeal that he decided to take his own life.  Or did he…?

Gerard: Oh sh*t…this sucks!

Frank: Whatever shall I do?  He was my best friend and the father of our baby!

Gerard and Frank: (Begin sobbing) I’m sorry I cheated.  We should get back together since all that matters is our love!  (Kiss)

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Gerard and Frank instantly got together and immediately resumed making out/reaching all four bases at every second all the time.

Mikey (From heaven): What?!  No grieving?!  I shall have my revenge!

Meanwhile, Frank is driving home from his new part-time job as an insurance agent.  He’s also picked up a very special gift for Gerard…a nice dinner and flowers!  But Mikey, angry from the heavens that they are too busy making out and reaching all four bases to even remember the fact that he is dead, sends another car in his path…or did he…?

Car: (Swerves)

Frank: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Car and Frank’s Car: COLLISION!

Gerard: Oh doctor!  Is he going to be okay?!

Doctor: Maybe…but he has….SLIPPED INTO A COMA!

Gerard: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  Oh wait…that’s okay!  I’ll just wait a couple of months and come back and say some cheesy pickup line and he’ll be okay!

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER… or is it…?

Gerard: Oh Frankie…Frankie!  Wake up!  I miss you, honey!  (sniff) I’m not okay.  I’m not okaaaaaaay.  I’m not oookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…without you, Frankie…

Doctor: Oh he’s not okaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Ray: What shall we saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?

Fangirl: HOLY SH*T he’s gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Mikey: (Coming down from the heavens) What he’s trying to saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

All (with the addition of several doctors, Bob, more fangirls, and random people, birds, and microwave dinners): Is please wake up, Frank!  (Jazz fingers) YEAH!

Frank: Hi guys!  Man, I must have been out thirty seconds!

Gerard: No, dear, it’s been five months!

Frank: Gosh!

Doctor: Okay, Frank.  You can go home.  I don’t have to keep you for testing or anything or to make sure that this coma won’t recur or anything.  You can just go and make it to home base with your husband.

Gerard and Frank: (Go home and make it to home base again despite Frank having two broken legs, a sprained wrist, concussion, bedsores, and broken ribs from the car accident.  Rawr!)

Ray, Mikey, and Bob reappear despite being missing during all of Frank’s hospital stay except when he wakes up (and Mikey being dead) and decide to go to the movies together, since, being one of the most popular bands of today, they obviously have no shows or recording sessions to go to and have nothing better to do than go and see a horror movie.  Or do they…?

Mikey and Frank’s Baby (who is now like 16, despite its being born only about 6 months ago): I’m sick of everyone ignoring me!  I’ll show them!!!

Frank: AHHHHHHHHHH SCARY!!!!!  (Cuddles Gerard)

Gerard: YEAH!!!!!!!!! (Makes out with Frank)

Ray: You guys!  We didn’t even end up seeing a horror movie!  They were sold out!  This is “Bratz: The Movie”

Frank: Oh.  OH NO SHE DI’IN’T!

Gerard: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! (Makes out with Frank)

Mikey: Ewww how gross!  Frank I LOVE YOU!!! (Makes out with Frank)

Frank: Hmm… You both are so hot.  Who should I choose?

Now it’s YOUR turn, audience.  Tell us who Frank should continue to make out with by hitting the appropriate button on the remote attached to the left armrest of your chair.  Choose wisely, because it’s ALL UP TO YOU!  Or is it…?

Little Boy in Row Three:  YAY!  I THINK HE SHOULD MAKE OUT WITH GERARD!  FRERARD FORVER, AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fangirl in Row Nine: Ooh he should make out with BOTH!  AT THE SAME TIME!  And with all those other guys Gerard cheated on!  That would be HAWT!!!  (Drools)  Dammit, there’s no button for that… (Hits the “Gerard” and “Mikey” buttons at the same time)

THE RESULTS ARE IN… and Frank should turn to page 49 if he wants to stay with Gerard, and page 38 if he wants to stay with Mikey.  And if he wants to take another look at that ever-elusive cutie, Zack Efron, he should turn to page 128.  But, if Frank wants to take a break from guys all-together and focus more on himself and the cheerleading squad in time for their next competition, he should go to page 84.  Or should he…?

Frank: Hmmmm…Zack Efron’s kinda hot, too… (Turns to page 128).   So Zack, you know that movie that just came out?  Do you wanna see it?

Zack Efron: Yeah, but not with you.  I’d never date a loser like you.

Frank went home crying and ate a lot of chocolate.  He decided the only way to deal with his rejection was to kill himself rather than go back to either of the two guys who totally wanted to make out with him.  So he took out a gun that a nearby fairy put into his previously unused gun cabinet and shot himself in the heart…or did he…?

Gerard: SH*T!

Mikey: SH*T!

Gerard and Mikey: Let’s make up.  (hug)

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Frank: (Comes back from the dead) Psyche!  I was not really dead after all!  I was just hiding in the garbage disposal!

Gerard and Mikey: Shucks I should’ve known!

Ray and Bob: Why haven’t we been mentioned at all in like forever?

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: NOW I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!  (Clunks Frank over the head with a mallet)

Frank: OOOOOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I feel like my skull has been struck with a large mallet, quite possibly giving me amnesia, skull damage, or a concussion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: I’m sorry Dads, but all I wanted was your love!!

Everyone: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Gerard: I’m sorry we haven’t been more supportive, child.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: SHUT UP, STEPDAD!

Gerard: Sorry.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: I’m so misunderstood!  (Vanishes)

Mikey: Wow…that was weird.  At least none of us are hurt.  All that matters is our love, albeit its brotherly nature!  And Frank must want to be with me now that he’s seen the damage it’s done to our child!

Frank: Oh my gosh!  I simply cannot remember a thing!  Bloody hell, what year is it, Edmund?

Mikey and Gerard: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ray and Bob: Now would be the perfect time to be more included in the story and connect with our fellow band members by showing our own displeasure at the current situation, hence agreeing with something and showing that we have a common opinion…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Frank: Who are you, good chaps?

Mikey and Gerard: I’M YOUR SOULMATE!

Ray and Bob: I’M YOUR SOULMATE-I MEAN BANDMATE!

Mikey and Gerard: Holy sheep, you guys like Frank, too?!

Ray and Bob: Erm….no…of course not?

All four then pounced on Frank and immediately begin making out with him/punching each other out.  Or did they…?

Frank: Laddies!  Laddies!  You seem like a right bunch of chaps!  Can we not settle this through the use of kind words and a good ol’ lump of sugar on the kettle?  Whereabouts are we?  Bloody hell, who are ye and where yonder are ye comin’ from?

Gerard: I am your husband!

Mikey: But I am your soulmate, and the father of our child!

Ray: I’m…fairly hot, and SINGLE!

Bob: I’m totally suave and chivalrous.

Frank: Ye have given me quite a bit to stew over, y’have.  I suppose I must be a fine young lass in order to attract thine eyes like I was a right bloody lightbulb!

Mikey: English, please!

Gerard: That IS English, dumbass!

Mikey: MODERN English, please!

Frank: Blimey!

Ray: You guys are scaring him off!  Don’t worry, Frank!  I won’t be so creepy!

Bob: I will be a right gentleman!

Frank: Aye?

Bob: Ye can bet thine bottom pound that I would never hurt thy.

Frank: (Tearing up) That may be the loveliest verse mine ears will behold.  (Hugs Bob)

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: THIS ISN’T WORKING!  (Hits Frank over the head with a sledge hammer)

Frank: OOOOOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I feel like my skull has been struck with a large mallet, quite possibly giving me amnesia, skull damage, or a concussion again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mikey: FRANK!  YOU’RE OKAY!!!  (Hugs Frank)

Frank: Of course I am!  I only got amnesia, skull damage, and quite possibly a concussion!

Mikey: But you’re alive!

Frank: No I’m not.  (Dies)

Gerard: F*****************************************CK!!!!!!

Mikey: F*****************************************CK!!!!!!

Ray: F*******************************************CK!!!!!!

Bob: F*******************************************CK!!!!!!

Frank: (Coming back to life) Psyche!

The Rest: Phew.  (Burst out laughing)

Frank: No, seriously.  (Dies)

The Rest: F***************************************CK!!!!!!

Frank: (Coming back to life) Ahahaha you guys are so gullible!

The Rest: Phew.  (Burst out laughing)

Frank: Mikey…I have something to tell you.

Mikey: OF COURSE I’LL MARRY YOU!!!!

Gerard: (Slaps) I’M married to him, you twit!

Mikey: Damn.

Frank: I’m…pregnant.  Again.

Mikey: But I only got with you once, so that means…

Frank: Yeah, it’s Gerard’s.

Mikey: Damn.

Gerard: Damn.

Frank: But I don’t want you to be out of the picture.  I want you to enjoy this child, too, because I want our first-born to know his/her new brother/sister.

Mikey: Damn.

For the next nine months, Mikey and Gerard were both driven crazy as Frank went through the normal stages of pregnancy as according to his “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book, complaining of sore feet, throwing up almost every morning, and having strange cravings for Skittles (though that happened even when he wasn’t pregnant).  Frank and Mikey’s kid became extremely jealous of all the attention the new unborn child was getting and decided to strike again.  Or did he/she…?

Frank: OH MY GOD!!! GERARD!!! GERARD!!! I’M ABOUT TO HAVE THE BABY!!!

Gerard: I’M about to be even MORE hot!  (Applies eyeliner) AHA!

Brendon: I’M A DIVA!!! (Steals Gerard’s eyeliner and runs away cackling.)  TO THE RYAN-MOBILE!!!! (Jumps in Ryan’s car)

Ryan: Will you stop calling it that?!

Brendon: NEVER!!! NOW DRIVE, SLAVE, DRIVE!

Ryan: (Sighs) (Drives the car away)

Frank: (Staring) That was weird.

Gerard: Curse that mysterious diva and that Ryan-mobile, too.

(Knock on the door) (Gerard opens the door)

Ryan: (Slaps Gerard across the face) DON’T EFFING CALL IT THAT!!!  (Walks back to his car and drives off again)

Gerard: Fine.  (Pouts) Geez.

Frank: Well, he did make it pretty clear that he doesn’t like his car being called the “Ryan-Mobile.”

(Knock on the door) (Gerard opens the door, wearily)

Ryan: Thank you.  (Ruffles Frank’s hair and gives him a cookie.)

Gerard: Have you just been standing outside the door listening to our conversation?

Ryan: Erm…no?  (Drives away)

Frank: Ooh, lost my train of thought…where were we?

Gerard: Something about some baby…

Frank: Oh yeah!  My water broke!  I’m gonna have the baby!!! QUICK!!! TO THE MIKEY-COPTER!!! (Jumps into a large helicopter with Mikey’s face on it.)

Mikey: FOR THE LAST TIME, DON’T EFFING CALL IT THAT!

Frank: Fine.  GEEZ, does NOBODY like to have modes of transportation named after them nowadays?

Mikey: (Sighs) (Drives the chopper away)

Mikey and Frank reached the hospital in about ten minutes, and Gerard met them there about an hour later.  Frank ended up giving birth to another beautiful child (we’re talking more Way and Iero blood here…there’s no way this child isn’t beautiful, okay?!).  Ray and Bob came later to celebrate/secretly try to seduce Frank when the door crashed open.  Or did it…?

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: (Standing in the doorway) MOTHER!  FATHER!

Frank: Yes, dear?  Awww you need to see your new step-sibling!!  Mommy loves you!

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: But this isn’t fair!  I thought you loved me!  Oh, wait…no I didn’t.  I knew you hated me.  But still, I mean, ANOTHER child to hate?!  Are you going to leave this one to practically raise itself and age sixteen years in mere months like you did with ME!?

Mikey: HEY!  I took care of you for the first month before I died and became reincarnated, didn’t I?!

Gerard: (Singing) Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when, we’re together.  Brighter than a lucky penny-

Mikey: GERARD!  HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SINGING LESLIE GORE SONGS?!

Gerard: Awwww…

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: HELLO?!  ISN’T ANYONE GOING TO ANSWER MY QUESTION?!

Frank: No, sweetie!  We were hoping you could help us raise this kid.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: (Tearing up) Really?  I guess all that matters is our love!  (Hugs Frank and Frank and Gerard’s Kid)

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: (Spontaneously aging fifteen years) Come on, older sibling of mine!  Let’s go find ourselves girl/boyfriends!

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: HELL YEAH!

(Frank’s children leave)

Gerard: Wow.  They grow up so fast.

Frank: Yeah, I know.  Seriously.

(Awkward Silence)

Gerard: QUICK!  TO THE RYAN-MOBILE!!!! (Jumps into Ryan’s car)

Ryan: SH*T!  NOT YOU AGAIN!!! AND HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELLYOU TO STOP CALLING IT THAT?!?!?!

Gerard: Shut up and drive, b*tch.

Ryan: (Shuts up and drives)

One Week later… or is it…?

Frank: (Arriving home, courtesy of the Mikey-Copter) Gerard, honey?  Kids?!  I’m home!

Frank’s Kids: HI MOM!!!  (Hugs)

Frank: You’re my little angels!  Now where’s your dad?

Frank’s Kids: He said something about shutting up and driving, b*tch.

Frank: Drat.  He must have carpooled with Ryan again…

Ryan: Hooray!  You didn’t call it the Ryan-Mobile!  (Gives Frank another cookie of approval)

Frank: MMMMMmmmmmm!!!

Gerard: Honey!  Kids!  I’m home!

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: You’re not my real father!

Gerard: You say that every day.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: I just like reminding you.

Frank: Be nice to your step-father, child numero uno.

Ryan: (Still standing in the doorway) Has anyone noticed that neither of your kids have genders or names?

Gerard: Oh, so now you’re jealous?  I didn’t think you were like that, Ryan Ross!  I thought you were oh-so-deep and introspective!  What happened to THAT, I wonder?!

Ryan: I’m not jealous!

Gerard: Good.  Now get the hell out of here and remember to bring the Ryan-mobile tomorrow at 8 sharp, b*tch!!

Ryan: (Sighing) IT’S NOT THE RYAN-MOBILE, FOR THE LAST TIME!!!!

Gerard: SHUT UP AND DRIVE, B*TCH!!!

Ryan: (Drives away)

Gerard: Pesky co-workers.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: So what do you DO?

Gerard: That’s between your mother, me, and the headboard.

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: (Scarred) No, I mean, what’s your job?

Gerard: Oh…Well, kids, I’m…

Meanwhile, thousands of eager, slash-writing fangirls across the planet held their breath in, crossed their fingers, and whispered, “C’mon….male stripper, male stripper, male stripper…” over and over again.  Or did they…?

Gerard: A used car salesman!  And Ryan’s a mechanic at the same dealer, so we carpool…mostly ‘cause the Ryan-Mobile is ten times better than our car…

(Knock on the door)

Gerard: Don’t answer it.

Everyone else: (Nods.)

(More knocking)

Gerard: Seriously, don’t answer it.

(No More Knocking)

Gerard: See?  It just goes away.

(Window Shattering)

Gerard: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sh*t.

Ryan: (Climbing through the broken glass) HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT…(slaps Gerard) IT’S NOT THE EFFING RYAN-MOBILE!!!  (Jumps through the broken window again and drives away.)

Gerard: Damn him and his extra-sensitive/selective hearing…

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: So he can tell every time you call his car…

Frank: (Warning Glance)

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: Erm, That-Term-Which-Cannot-Be-Mentioned…

Voldemort: Hell yeah!  So, dude, you picking up the snack cakes for tomorrow?

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: Yeah, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!  You getting the chips ‘n dip?!

Voldemort: YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE IT, FOOL! YE-HEAH!!!!  (High Five)  Allright…later, dude!

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: See ya on the six, man!

Voldemort: (Vanishes)

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: Anyway…so if you call his car THAT, he can miraculously hear it out of nowhere and arrive here in a matter of seconds to slap you?

Gerard: Apparently…

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: THAT’S SO COOL!

Gerard: No, NO IT’S NOT!!!  RYAN’S NOT COOL!  I’M COOL!  I’M YOUR DAD!

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: But Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad….Ryan has a cooler car that people shouldn’t be calling such dorky names!

(Knock on the Door)

Gerard: DON’T answer it!

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: But it’s RYAN!  I wanna answer it!

Gerard: DON’T!

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: (Answers it) RYAN!!! YAY!!!

Ryan: (Hands Frank and Gerard’s Kid a cookie) Keep up the good work, kid.  (Ruffles the kid’s hair and drives off)

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: I’ll never wash this hair again…

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: Oh, you’re such a ditz.

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: Well YOU were all over those marching band people!

Frank and Mikey’s Kid: OHHH NO YOU DI’IN’T!

Frank and Gerard’s Kid: It is on, b*tch!

Frank and Mikey’s kid and Frank and Gerard’s kid began to fight…or do they?

Mikey: (Out of nowhere) HOLY SHEEP!  DÉJÀ VU!

Frank and Ray’s Kid and Frank and Bob’s Kid: Why haven’t we been mentioned in forever?!

Gerard and Mikey: YOU GOT WITH RAY AND BOB, TOO?!

Frank: Uhhh…date rape?

Gerard and Mikey: IT IS ON, B*TCH!

Frank: QUICK!!!  TO THE RYAN-MO...I mean, RYAN'S COOL CAR!

Ryan: (Driving up) Good.  (Hands Frank a cookie and drives off with him into the sunset)

~~FIN~~

To be continued…or is it…?  (Honestly, I don’t know.  Maybe, if I feel like it again.)

Frerard-The Soap Operaby ~cryinblackandwhite93

Fan Art / Fan Fiction

Whew...that was REALLY LONG and took me FOREVER to write! In case any of you are mad (which I don't imagine would happen, but better safe than sorry, kids), let me assure you that this was TOTALLY intended as a joke.

Hope you enjoyed!

PS---I know I have plenty of comments to respond to. I will get to that ASAP, along with the next update of something I've already started. I feel bad that I've been writing so many new things and neglecting my old stories. So stay tuned!

love 3 3

joy 3 3

wow 4 4

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~trespassingthrough27 Apr 21, 2013 New member

oh and yes of course random Voldemort-ness! sooo gooooood. Especially how what he says is so non voldemort-ey XD "YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE IT, FOOL! YE-HEAH!!!! (High Five) Allright…later, dude!"
gaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I want more fic like this!!!
seriously my cheeks hurt from laughing. This is a feat because I was determined to be like "I shall not laugh" (I'm a stubborn shit!)

~trespassingthrough27 Apr 21, 2013 New member

please more. omg........ahahhahaha. Ok so I'm going to be honest...I really was like wtf? at first then saw how long it was and wasn't going to read it, then I did, and it honestly did get more and more hilarious as it went on, proving comments so very correct. Truly hilarious. I can't even. what is breathing. I actually love this. so...much....<3 it ended up going wayyyy (ha) too fast when I did decide to read it.
omg so highlights: the whole cookie and stroking Frank's hair thing
the fact you don't give the kids names (meh, makes it easier for me to keep track LOL)
the i'm not okay saga hahahaha Holy shiit he's gay!!!
and I'm about to have the baby! I'm about to be even more hot!!

ok there were so many highlights that I need to stop. So glad I decided to read it all.

~lost-n-found-again Sep 20, 2012

ummm???????? that was wierd..........

~XxRocket-StarxX Jul 25, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I was starting to worry for your sanity when Voldy appeared. Only thing that would make it more crazy is if he was saying "Dattebayo!" Now THAT would be a crackfic....