Author's Notes:  Yeah, so I'm trying to remember to post more, so I thought I'd put this up since it's Christmas Eve and all.  I wrote this for Melissa as her Christmas card.  I think I'll just put up a list of characters to make it less confusing.

Kelly:  Me.  
Melissa and Sydney: M'dawgs.
Alex: Melissa's boyfran
Patrick: My brother, who I love, even if he tells me to go play in traffic a lot.
Ryan, Brendon, Spencer, Jon=Panic at the Disco
Ray, Bob, Gerard, Frank, Mikey=My Chemical Romance
And I think that's it.  
Enjoy :)




‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all the through the house,
everyone was hung over from time-traveling, even the mouse,
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
under the barrage of Kelly’s unwavering stare.

Kelly:  You fail, narrator.  Everyone knows Santa doesn’t come unless someone’s up waiting for him!  It’s only common courtesy.

Melissa: I hope the cookies haven’t burned!

Alex: (Eating remaining dough) I hope no one from school is currently photographing me in my Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer footie pajamas!

Sydney: (Outside of window with camera) Oh man!!!  I will be getting SO MANY hits on my Facebook page tomorrow!!! (Runs away)

Alex:  Yeah, so, time-traveling to 2012 hasn’t been nearly as bad as I thought.

Melissa:  Yeah, seriously.  When Gerard asked me in that bathroom stall in London to time travel so I would be of legal age to use chocolate syrup, I never thought that this would be such a fun adventure to share with my friends!

Kelly and Alex: …

Melissa: I mean, when I accidentally found that time-traveling device in that new car I got…from the used car salesman that I barely know.

Kelly and Alex:  Oh.  That’s okay then.

(KNOCK AT THE DOOR!)

All:  Gee, I wonder who could be knocking on Christmas Eve!

(DOOR OPENS.  HOW POLITE.)

Kelly:  Rock/Pop-Rock/Alternative Star Brendon Urie of Panic at the Disco?!  Whatever could YOU be doing here?!

Brendon:  (Sobbing) I’m in such shambles about the election!

Melissa:  Election?  I’m sorry, but we only just got to this time period…

Brendon:  Oh (nods).  It’s cool.  Well, the Presidential election just happened…and I lost!  To STUPID MICHAEL PHELPS AND STUPID PETER PARKER AS HIS MATE!  I just want to die right now.

Alex:  Who were you running with?

Brendon:  My ass.

Melissa and Kelly:  (Nodding) Ah.

Alex:  (Looking at Melissa) No.  I am too straight and protective of my girlfriend to listen to this.  (Plugs ears and shouts the theme from “The Lion King”)

Brendon:  Oh, he’s one of THOSE types.

Melissa and Kelly:  Yup.

Brendon:  Just like that guy over there (nods towards Patrick)

Kelly:  PATRICK?!  (hugs)

Patrick:  (resists hug) Go play in traffic.

Melissa:  PATRICK!!!! (hugs)

Patrick:  Hi Melissa! (hugs)

Kelly:  :(

Alex: (Temporarily unplugging ears and no longer cooing over baby Simba) Why are you shirtless?

Brendon:  (Looking down) Oh, that.  I kind of forget sometimes.  During our travels across the world, Panic and the Disco—including myself, our road crew, and some of our really obsessive fans—developed an allergy to shirts.  

Alex:  Oh.  (Goes back to praising the cuteness of baby lions)

Kelly and Melissa:  I’m not complaining.

Patrick:  I am.

Melissa:  Is this contagious?  How much time do you currently spend with Gerard Way, Billy Martin, Matt Friction, Jon Decious, Jim Sturgess, and other hot musicians/actors?

Brendon:  (Shakes head) I don’t know…

Kelly:  (Suddenly excited) Wait…where’s Ryan?!!!!!?!?!?!

Melissa: (Matter-of-factly) Ryan started the fire!

Brendon: …Oh.  I wasn’t aware Ryan had started any fires…well, he’s over there…he left after we found this random guy hanging around here swinging a ninja sword to impress a sheep with a little sunhat…

Kelly and Melissa: PATRICK!!!!!!!! :D

Parsons: (unplugging ears) Patrick?  (EPIC FAIL)

Patrick: I was not!!!!!!!  (ALSO EPIC FAIL)

Ryan: Liar.

Kelly:  RYAN!!!

Ryan:  I started no fires!

Melissa:  FIRE GUY!!!

Kelly:  Oh, but you started the fire in my heart.

Ryan:  Eww.  Cooties.

Kelly:  :(

Alex: That’s really weird.

Patrick: That’s what she said!

Melissa:  That’s what he said.

Patrick:  No, it’s what SHE said.

Melissa:  But it’s what you said.

Patrick:…I’m not even going to try.

Melissa:  THAT’S what he said.

Patrick: (Facepalm)

Jon and Spencer: (run in) Ooh, facepalm!

Melissa and Kelly:  YAY!!! IT’S THE POPULAR ROCK GROUP, PANIC AT THE DISCO, UNITED!!! (whisper/giggle: you’re a tall glass of water, Spencer!!!)

MCR: (Fly in) Ooh, facepalm!!!

Melissa and Kelly:  YAY!!!! IT’S THE POPULAR ROCK GROUP, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, UNITED!!!!

Patrick:  Eww.  Cooties.  

Gerard:  I see you took my advice about the time-traveling.

Melissa:  Yup!!!

Alex:  (Suspicious look)

Melissa:  Yes, used-car salesman who also happens to travel with a hot, flying popular rock group.  I took your advice about time-traveling to save mileage.

Alex:  Oh.  That’s okay then.

Kelly:  ZOMGZ IT’S NEARLY MIDNIGHT!!! SANTA WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE!

Santa:  (Flies through chimney)  HO HO HO!!!!  I NEED A HO!!!

Others:  SANTA!!!

Sydney:  (Jumps in through window) SANTA!!!

Santa:  I mean, I need a HO-LY miracle.

Sydney:  Oh, Santa, you ARE A MIRACLE!! (Hugs)

Ray:  I love you, Santa!!! You bought me that little bat costume oh-so long ago…

Mikey:  (Coughs) Last year. (Coughs)

Ray:  Shut up.  He bought you one, too!

Bob:  Yeah, and the two of you still run around the bus screaming, “WE ARE THE BAT BROTHERS!!! BEWARE!!!” and smearing strawberry jelly all over yourselves.

Ray and Mikey:  :(

Gerard:  Dude, that stuff didn’t even look like blood.  And you guys looked like nerds.

Santa:  Oh really, Gerard?  Because I got you one too.  Actually I got all of you one.  We ran out of the reindeer footie pajamas that everyone wanted so much.

Brendon:  What about ME, Santa?!  WHAT’D YOU GET ME?!?!?!?!!!?!  (Jumps up and down)

Santa:  Well, besides the costume…let’s see… Brendon, you’ve been a good boy this year, for the most part.  I must say, while putting whipped cream in Spencer’s shoes may have seemed funny at the time…(starts laughing) Oh who am I kidding?  That was hilarious!!!  He screamed like a chick!

Spencer: :(

Santa:  Anyway, I couldn’t get the thing at the top of your list…I’m sorry, man, but it’s not in my power—

Melissa:  What was at the top of his list?

Santa:  Ryan Ross’s eternal love.

Ryan:  (nervous laughter) Um, eww.  I would SO never agree to that.  So Brendon, about that lap dance tester shirt you have…Do you think I could—?

Santa:  But I was able to get you the second thing:  Apple bottom jeans, coming right up!  (Pulls wrapped gift out of nowhere)

Brendon:  YAY!!!  IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!  

Brendon’s Ass:  (Thinking) Finally, I will have room for myself.  And when I do, I can finally begin my plans to take over the world!

Brendon:  (Thinking back) No!  Shut up!  THEY MIGHT HEAR YOU!!!

Michael Phelps:  (Running through wall) SAAANNNNNNTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  SANTA, I FOUND YOU!!  MY SANTA DETECTORS NEVER LIE!! (hugs)

Santa:  Hello, Vice President Elect Michael Phelps.

(Santa runs away from Michael Phelps)

Random pack of girls:  MICHAEL PHELPS, WE FOUND YOU!!! OUR MICHAEL PHELPS DETECTORES NEVER LIE!!!

(Michael Phelps runs away from random pack of girls)

Other random pack of girls:  MCR, WE FOUND YOU!!! OUR MCR DETECTORS NEVER LIE!!!

(MCR runs away from other random pack of girls)

More other random pack of girls:  PANIC AT THE DISCO, WE FOUND YOU!!! OUR PATD DETECTORS NEVER LIE!!!

(Panic runs away from more other random pack of girls)

Even more other random pack of girls:  (SCREAM) AHH!!! THE BEATLES!!!

Melissa, Kelly, Alex, Sydney, Patrick: …There’s FIVE of us.  And three are girls.  And we’re not old.  And we aren’t singing or playing any instruments.

Even more other random pack of girls:  (Depressed) Oh…(Walk away)

(SILENCE)










Neil Cicierega:  (Runs in and dances with Pee-Wee Herman to “Dancin’ In the Moonlight” by King Harvest)











~FIN~


Everyone have an awesome holiday, no matter what you celebrate.  <3<3<3 In fact, if you celebrate Kwanzaa, I love you so much, because everyone knows that Kwanzaa is the coolest holiday ever mostly because no one knows how to celebrate it.  But yeah, enjoy time off from school and work plus family plus gifts plus whatever.  :D